March of the Black Queen
by RK Ryune
Summary: Things have gone well for Metro City's new defender. But when a new foe arrives in town, Megamind must face his most irritating adversary yet - a Mary Sue.
1. Overture

It was a gorgeous sunny day, and like all gorgeous sunny days in Metro City, this one was bound to be ruined by some fruit in a cape showing up to crash the party. Of course, ever since Megamind had turned to good and had begun protecting the city, most of the challenges he faced lacked… well, the panache. Even when playing the good guy, Megamind was still far more flamboyant and over the top than any villain he faced, and to the people of Metro City it was getting a tad boring.

Of course, far be it from them that another Titan came along. For all the "evil" Megamind had committed while at the top of the Supervillain Heap, he'd never actually hurt people on purpose. And with the boundless energy he'd directed at defeating Metro Man now focused on protecting Metro City, it just wasn't the same.

So it was only with a half-hearted scream and a general rolling of the eyes that the citizens of Metro City briskly walked away from the new column of black smoke rising over the skyline. A few of Megamind's brain bots flitted up, shooing the bystanders away from what was sure to cause at least some minor property damage. And within moments, the blue hero of Metro City swooped in on his newest hover cycle.

"You dare challenge the defender of Metrocity with your pollutants, fiend?" Megamind shouted up into the billowing cloud. A piercing shriek of a cackle caused him to jump back in surprise, and with a cautious glare, he gazed up into the face of his enemy, now being projected across the front of the cloud for all to see.

He hadn't been expecting a teenage girl. She beamed down at him in mad glee. After a few moments of confused silence, Megamind finally ventured "Shouldn't you be in shool?"

"It's pronounced 'skool' you twit!" the girl snapped at him, eyes narrowing in malice. "And today's a snow day!"

"Then let justice put a further freeze on your villainous activities!" he responded, perking up noticeably at the promise of witty banter.

The teen merely rolled her eyes. It looked that, for all intents and purposes, she was trying her hardest to look evil. The high collar was definitely evil enough, as were the many spiked hairpins sticking out of her bun at random intervals. She appeared to be wearing a low-cut kimono, and had enough eyeliner on to make comparisons to certain endangered bears too easy. There was a hint of metal as her sneer widened into a grin. "You don't even know the half of it, Megamind. Today is only the beginning. For this day marks the day of your downfall, and soon, you'll be in my clutches, and all of Metro City will be mine!"

Megamind blinked. "And… do your parents know of your intentions to capture the city?"

"Silence!" she bellowed. "I _will_ rule this city, and soon-"

A chirp from Megamind's watch cut her off. "Sir," came Minion's voice over their communicators, "I've got a read on her signal. She's broadcasting from 134 Oak St, Apartment 43. Shall I send in the brain bots?"

At this, Megamind grinned. "Yes, Minion. Code: Make it so!" He wheeled his hoverbike around, and then shot toward the massive cloud projection.

"Making it!" Minion chirped, the smile in his voice clear. There was a chorus of mechanical barks in the background, and then the watch clicked off.

"Time to ground you for life!" the hero smirked, voice low. The bike continued its ascent towards the cloud, while the teenager continued to rant about her parents and classmates and something that sounded to his ears like "yow ee". He'd ask Minion about that one later.

But, just before he could reach the cloud, it dissipated. With another one of those obnoxious cackles, her voice boomed from the air. "Silly Megamind… you didn't think it'd actually be that easy, did you?"

"Oh _please_," he retorted. "It's like you're reading out of a book, you're so cliché! You're doing it poorly, too! I mean, you haven't even kidnapped anyone!"

There was a brief silence. "You didn't forget that I was once Metrocity's most stunningly evil and fantastically menacing villain, did you? An ominous cloud is the oldest trick in the book."

More silence caused Megamind to shift uncomfortably on the seat of his bike. "Not to say that it's a bad trick or anything." More silence. "Okay," he called, with a nervous laugh. "You can start bantering back now!"

"Uh, Sir?" Minion, via the watch, ventured quietly. "She isn't here."

"What? What do you mean she isn't there?"

The shrug was clear in Minion's voice. "I mean she's not here. There's just a TV with a post-it note on the front."

"A post-it note?" Megamind took a moment to think about this. "Well, what does it say?"

"'You haven't seen the last of me,'" Minion read. "Wonder why she didn't just yell it to the heavens like most villains do."

Megamind rolled his eyes. "Well, another foe vanquished. I feel like curry tonight, what do you think?"

"Oooh! That'd be fantastic, Sir! We're out of potatoes, though."

"I'll pick some up on the way home."

"Alright, Sir, see you soon."

The bike wheeled around, and Megamind shot off into the blazing afternoon sun, leaving the citizens of Metro City to resume their daily lives. As such, no one noticed the round object streaking down from the heaves.

It was, after all, just another gorgeous day in Metro City.


	2. Suite Madame Blue

The newspaper slapped down in front of Megamind. He peered up into Roxanne's troubled face, and raised an eyebrow at her. "Just read it," she said, confused and looking a little irate for it.

He swallowed his mouthful of cereal, and primly wiped his mouth, before picking it up and unfolding it. "I can't believe they still sell these. Am I on the cover again?"

"Not this time."

Megamind gave Roxanne a hurt pout, before he turned his attention to the headlines. Absently, he reached for his spoon and shoveled one more bite of Count Chocula into his mouth, only to spew it out in shock.

"What in Tesla's name is THIS?" he cried, leaping to his feet and grasping the paper, eyeballs flicking back and forth as he read the article.

"So you _weren't_ expecting a family reunion?"

"Weren't expect—Roxanne, my home planet was destroyed by a _black hole_. Unless there was another ship that was dispatched before my own tiny vessel that I'm not, I am the sole survivor of my species. Either this is some kind of elaborate hoax, or…"

Stricken, he sat back down in his chair. Roxanne gingerly sat on the edge of the table and folded her arms, waiting for her boyfriend to continue with a small note of concern.

"I mean… a sister? Her mere existence rocks my very world, shakes me to the core of my identity… and while I would relish the fact that there are more beings out there that are… like _me_, I can't …." He was unable to finish, for fear of admitting he didn't want just another disappointment.

"Hey…" Roxanne reached out to rest her hand on his shoulder. "Don't go thinking like that. I mean, it's out of the blue—er." She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, and leaned in. "But what if it's not? Wouldn't the possibility of your family – your parents – being alive be great?"

The blue villain-turned-hero was silent for a moment. "I don't know," he finally answered. Roxanne liked to think she knew Megamind fairly well, but for all his posturing and swagger, it was the moments that he seemed like a hurt, lost little boy that frightened her. She leaned in, and wrapped her arms around him.

"Why don't you just meet her – this girl claiming to be your sister? Maybe that'll answer some of your questions."

Megamind chewed on his lip for a second, before brightening. "You're right! A simple meeting will result in plenty of information!" He turned to Roxanne. "Do you think I should bring Minion?"

"Definitely. He'd be a great help, especially if she doesn't speak English."

"I can speak my native language just fine, [thank you very much]" he quipped back.

Roxanne gave him a baffled stare. "What the heck was _that_ just now?"

"What?"

"That … stuff you just said?"

"My… native language? High Glaupunk?"

"Oh, right." Roxanne gave him another smile, before standing to dust her skirt off. "Well, I have to make it down to the station. I've been assigned a new cameraman, and I have to show her the ropes before we head out to do the 11 am."

"Another one?"

"Yeah, apparently none of them can keep up with me." Roxanne grinned, and playfully punched Megamind in the shoulder. "Good luck today."

"You too," Megamind replied, giving Roxanne a warm smile. He watched her leave, drifting off somewhat dreamily as he watched her retreating figure. Idly, he took one more bite of his Count Chocula, before leaping to his feet.

"Minion! Get the blimp! We're going to have a little family reunion!"

"Sir, are you sure this is a good idea?" Minion's voice was hesitant as he steered the blimp towards the local women's prison, where the papers had reported a small blue pod crashing on the isolated island the night before.

"Oh, don't be such a worry-fish, Minion," Megamind replied, cavalier. He leaned back and propped his feet up on the dashboard and idly twitched one foot in time with the music on the radio. "What could one teensy visit hurt? We go in, we meet with this person claiming to be a relation of mine, and we deduce whether or not her claim is valid."

"Yeah… and then what?"

"I'm still working on that. But worry not, Minion! I'll think of something."

"Right, Sir. You always do."

They drove on quietly for a moment, the silence only broken once or twice by Minion humming along to the Whitesnake song blasting out of the speakers.

"I still say you should have let me wear the Konung av Mörker," Megamind finally said, breaking the silence.

"I know you like that one, Sir, but I don't think a cape based off of that Finnish music video makes a particularly good first impression. You want to look like the good guy, right?"

"Oooh, we're here! Park the blimp over there, by the prison bus!"

Without even a sigh, Minion obliged his master and landed the blimp. At least, to his relief, they had left the lasers and explosives at home. They were going to visit the prison like proper visitors.

Security was hesitant to see Megamind, but due to his standing as the city's protector, he eventually made it through all the checks and locked doors, and was escorted to a small booth with a sheet of glass and a speaker.

"Minion," the blue alien whispered to the fish, "it's really weird being on this side of the glass."

"It's okay, Sir. You'll get used to—"

A high pitched shriek of joy cut him off, and caused Megamind to go scrabbling over the top of his robot-fish buddy to hide behind the 10,000 lb frame.

"Oh my gosh, it's YOU, I _knew_ you'd come for me, _kerper_, and OH, I'm so happy I finally found you, you have GOT to get me out of here the food is _terrible!"_

Nervously, Megamind peered around from behind minion, to see a young blue face smushed up against the glass separating them. Prior to this morning, he hadn't given much thought to the potential of siblings – all his early memories involved his parents. But while preparing to come over to the prison, he'd given it some thought. His sister, he had theorized, would be older. Mature, demure, with kind eyes and a comely figure like his mother, but also with a steady comport and deft fingers like his father. She'd be capable and strong and intelligent, and would be the big sister he'd always wished he could have.

He was not expecting this perky young female now making pouty faces at him. "Aren't you happy to see me?" she wheedled, sticking out her lower lip.

"Uh… yes?" Megamind sat back down, and gave the person across from him a good, hard look.

She was definitely younger-looking than he'd expected. Oh, she was certainly fully grown, the tight silver costume she was wearing made that clear. The defining features of his race were evident too – blue skin, giant head, no hair. She had wide purple eyes, with incredibly long lashes, and rounded, "cutesy" lips, which were currently pursed in a pout.

Finally, Megamind sighed, and looked her in the eye. "So… you're my sister?"

"Yes! When I finally received word that another Azurean was alive, I knew I simply had to meet him. And then, when I arrived here in Metrocity, I could tell right away that it was the baby our mother and father had sent away all those years ago – little Serul."

"Serul…" Megamind's voice was quiet. "Is that my real name?" he asked, turning towards Minion for confirmation.

"Yes!" the blue girl said happily. "Serul of Azuros, my big brother."

"But what about you?" Megamind asked eagerly, already warming up to his sister.

"Oh, my name? I am Mehri."

A guard stuck her head into the room. "Visiting hours are over," she grunted, and Minion got up to leave the room.

"Promise me you'll get me out of here, _kerler_ Serul?" Mehri pleaded, touching the glass gingerly.

"I will try," Megamind replied softly, mimicking her gesture, and touching his own long fingers to hers through the glass.

He stood slowly, and gave her a forlorn wave as she was escorted from the visitation room by a guard, and then followed Minion out to the blimp.

The ride home was oddly quiet. Minion didn't seem to be much for talking, instead content to stare ahead wide-eyed. Megamind, though, hardly noticed, as he was scheming of a way to break his sister out of the women's prison but still maintain his steadily improving reputation.

About halfway home, Minion suddenly shuddered within his bowl, and briefly panicked. His hyperventilating caught Megamind's attention, and when Minion finally composed himself, he loudly yelped, "SIR!"

Slightly weirded out, Megamind slowly replied "… yes?"

"Oh, thank goodness, you aren't brainwashed."

"Minion, what are you talking about?"

"That girl, the one we just met, that's claiming to be your sister!" Minion put the blimp on auto-pilot, and grabbed Megamind by the shoulders. "She's an imposter, Sir! I don't know what's she's trying to do, but so help me if she's going to try to hurt you—"

"Minion, calm down. Mehri can't be an imposter."

"Sir." Minion glared at Megamind, inciting Megamind to glare back. Eventually, though, Minion won the short staring contest, and continued. "First of all. Do you know what _"kerler"_ means?"

"It means … " he blinked. "Well, I thought it meant 'brother,' but now that I think about it, that's not right. What does it mean?"

"As far as I can tell? Total nonsense. But that's not all, Sir. You know how you tried to ask me if your name was really 'Sayrule' or whatever? It's not."

Megamind blinked. "Well, what is it?"

"You don't have one." At the indignant look on his master's face, Minion continued. "Infants didn't receive names until they were two weeks old. It was part of a ceremony, and until that time, all newborns were nameless. As far as either of us is concerned, your original name is still John James Dean Ripper Doe, aka 'Blue.'"

"But that's what my Prison Uncles named me."

"Exactly. They were the first people who actually gave you a name. We left our planet before your parents could give you one."

"Well, what about our planet. Was she lying about it being called Azuros too?"

Minion shrugged. "There's no English equivalent, and it's kind of hard to say or spell using English phonetics and letters. It's as good of a translation as any, since the name basically means 'giant blue ball' or something like that."

"I see."

Silence hung between them, as Megamind chewed on a knuckle, thinking.

"She also called you her big brother," Minion added.

"So? I'm taller than her, aren't I? I think my head's a little larger than hers, too."

"No no, I think she meant 'big' as in 'older.'"

There was a short pause, before Megamind exploded. "What? How is that even _possible_, people can't survive the death of their sun and then being sucked into a black hole! That's… how? I _know_ my parents died that day, even as an infant I knew that there was no possible way they were escaping. Sure, I didn't _understand_ it at the time, but I at least _knew_ that there was no way none but I alone were escaping that day."

"Well, what about wormholes?" Minion ventured, turning back to the controls of the blimp so that he could land the ship at the lair.

"No, no, no, that's just a theory," Megamind continued, hopping out of the cabin of the blimp and striding into his lab, immediately turning to his Ideas chalk board and scribbling frantically. "And even if they were verifiable, there's no way that any living being could survive the forces of that gravity. Anything strong enough to pull in even _protons_ must have a gravitational pull that is so massive it would destroy everything in its path. The only thing exiting a wormhole would be the 'pasta-fied' remains of whatever was pulled in. "

"I think that word is 'spaghettified,' Sir."

Finishing the rapid equation scribbling, Megamind then turned to his massive web of articles, drawings, and research. He scrambled through many items, until he reached the article he was looking for – a clipping from a Popular Science magazine, an article about black holes, and his own physics calculations, written in crayons, wherein he had tested the science mentioned in the article. "Look, Minion. The math doesn't line up. The existence of a younger sister, which would be necessitated by my parents surviving the black hole, is _theoretically impossible_." Megamind growled in frustration. "I'd have been!"

Minion blinked in confusion, following along perfectly until that final line. "You'd… have been what, Sir?"

"I've been tricked!"

"Oh." He flipped his fins nervously. "Well, she's got to have a reason for trying to trick you, right? So maybe you should keep playing along to find out what it is."

"No, no… that's foolish. I don't want to play her games." Megamind began pacing, trying to think through a solution to the sudden conundrum he was facing. How was he going to confront a woman pretending to be his sister – and going through an elaborate enough set-up to land herself in a women's prison and convince everyone that she was related to him? How was he going to unmask her, and discern her intentions? What _were_ her intentions, and why go to all the trouble?

"I've got it! I'll pretend that I haven't figured her out, to find out what she's trying to pull!"

"Brilliant idea, Sir," Minion said flatly.

Megamind allowed himself a sly grin, and a slight hunch of the shoulders. "And in order to accomplish this goal, we're going to have to break her out of jail!"


End file.
